The Comfort Zone and Magic

The Comfort Zone and Magic

By Cat Gina Cole 5/25/23

Most of us have heard or been told not to do anything outside our comfort zone as though that threshold is a huge stop sign. While valid in many social circumstances and even in some magical ones, it can actually prevent you from gaining knowledge and experience. Witchcraft and Magic are transgressive by nature and should take us beyond our comfort zone.

This brings up questions like what is our comfort zone, what is its function, why should we move past it, and how do we move past it?

Our comfort zone is something that was socially conditioned into us for general safety, or something we created based on our experiences to keep us safe for many valid reasons. We put it up and leave it in place and never question it again and it becomes a taboo to ever cross, even for ourselves. If we ignore our comfort zone and make no changes, it will restrict further growth and can in some cases cause us and others harm. As we grow physically and mentally, we must also give ourselves permission to change the hard and fast “rules” and adjust those that no longer work for us.

For example, an individual who has been abused or traumatized in any way might continue seeing themselves as a victim/survivor and keep themselves away from social interaction. This is a valid reaction as one heals, but if you stay there, you never heal completely. Instead, it becomes how you identify and becomes all you are. When that happens all decisions and actions are based on past experiences only.

In my recovery from being an abused/traumatized person, staying in my comfort zone was only one PART of the healing process, not the end place, and not my whole identity forever. The comfort zone from trauma is not meant to be a comfort zone forever. We are not meant to live in fear. Danger is real, fear is a mechanism to teach us and to be learned from. Fear provides us the opportunity to grow beyond fear’s limitations. And fear shows us our current limits and asks us if want to stay there or go beyond it. This fact about fear has a lot to do with the phrase, “There is no light without the dark”

Staying in a fixed comfort zone promotes the mindset that anything we need or want in our lives must come from outside ourselves. Holding this belief means we believe we have no personal power; no control or choice and it keeps us perpetually at the mercy of others and helpless.

Nothing could be further from the truth. All of us have personal power and choice, all of us have the right and power to claim ourselves, and to create our own lives. We do not “have to” wait on others. To do so only leads to a repetitive cycle of disappointment. This is because no one can satisfy your needs and desires like you can.

Everyone needs a little help now and then, sometimes you are not sure what you are looking for, but others might. These people should only be guides to help you find your personal empowerment, not people who keep you dependent or helpless, so watch for that when you seek the like-minded, friends, teachers, and counselors. And when you find one, examine your comfort zone, and ask yourself, are they one the healthy side, challenging you to grow or are they on the side of it that says, they are not healthy for me?

Now that we know much more about the Comfort Zone, what it really is and what it does let’s apply all that to Witchcraft and Magic. If for example you are looking for a magical social group and only stay in your comfort zone, you may never find one. Especially if you approach a group and you allow your comfort zone to make the decision. This can result in you not joining in and having a good experience. Instead, you will feel like a spectator and not connect with anyone. Like all things Magical and Witchcraft this will take repeated effort to accomplish for some. If you feel like a spectator rather than a participant, you are also blocking the energy flow. This is true if it is a social group, a group ritual or even a solitary magical working. This then prevents any working or group from being that much more effective and powerful. Letting go of our comfort zone for the moment is the only way to feel fully engaged and share the energy flow of the experience.

Particularly in Magic and Witchcraft, the comfort zone will lie to you and tell you, you cannot do magical practices until you are taught. This is because in your comfort zone as it currently is, has you believing you have no personal power or ability; you have only doubt. Which is a lie, you do have personal power and all of you have magic within you.

But you will not find it until you push past your comfort zone and step out to the other side and into the magical energy all around you. Once this is done, and you continue to play around with Magic and Witchcraft for a while, it will lead you to ask more questions, read more books, meet more people, and this will begin your path.

Even those who have been practicing for some time can still struggle with their comfort zone. Feeling Magical energy can be quite intense and “uncomfortable” and sometimes scary. Some might even believe that a simple mirror spell or freezer spell is black magic or worry about harm none, or a person’s free will. Only to a point are these things valid.

They are designed to keep the beginner cautious, which is ok in the beginning, but staying with this thinking prevents you from exploring the full depths of Witchcraft and Magic.

There is such a thing as Magical Defense, and Magical Defense is not black magic. Magical Defense is protection from an action you know someone else took first. Now if out of the blue you decide for no real reason to harm someone or put a curse on them just for sport or fun, or just to see if you can, that is what most call black magic.

Any spell or working can be used either for good or harm. There is no list of this one is good this one is harmful; it is all in why and how it is being used. Thinking of black magic in this way is typically out of someone’s comfort zone and is an example of someone who has not gone beyond their zone to discover this is true for themselves, they just stopped at the perceived boundary.

I think of the comfort zone as a signal that I have been triggered about something in my past. When I feel it, I remember I am not in the past. I am in the now, and I am doing a working that needs my focus and full power and energy.  This allows me to push it aside until I am finished, I will come back to it later and address whatever it was separately.

It would not do while leading a ritual or spell to break down in the middle of it and give in to the emotional self. As in the example above, it only robs the working of all power and effectiveness. Stepping past the comfort zone in Witchcraft and Magic allows you to step into the full power and energy of the working making your magic much more effective. So, the next time your comfort zone bumps against you, tell it “Not now, I am busy growing, learning, being magical, manipulating energy and gaining personal power.”             Many Blessings to All!

 

 

Climate Change and Weather Magic

It has been a while since I spoke about weather magic. In my previous posts on the subject, I discussed how I got so connected to the natural forces over the years. In my presentation for the LlewellynCon I spoke about how psychic skills enhanced magic and witchcraft, but it really was a lesson on weather magic. (The link is below.) Today I thought I would share more about what I personally have been doing to help our Mother Earth to heal and restore given the climate change issues we see daily.

I began my work in March after our February was a bit too warm for comfort. Fearing what that might mean for the fire season I sat for several days in a row in meditation and dream work communing with the Elements and Mother Earth. I came away from that work knowing the Elements and the Earth were out of balance in a way that scientists and meteorologists cannot know and the Earth was asking for help. Now I have done weather magic in many states over time and had developed something of a routine way of proceeding but my meditations and dream work in this matter showed me something more was needed.

So on March 15, 2022, The Ides of March, I began what would become my daily work for the next two months. I began in meditation connecting to the Elements. I then carried that connection outside with me and made a physical connection to the Earth by placing one hand on the ground.

This is when “the something more” happened. Because I am clairvoyant I began to see and hear all the green and living, not only paying attention but saying, “Hey us too! We are all water seekers.” I saw all the creepy crawlies, insects, and flying things and could see and hear all the plants join in a chorus of “We the water seekers are here.”It was almost overwhelming as it all flowed through me.

Because of my skill, I relaxed and breathed in their energy through my whole body to become a conduit for them. I let their energy join with the connection to the Elements I already had within me.

I became the place the water seekers were able to connect to and speak with the Elements and make their requests. The images that flowed through my mind were amazing and it was in that manner I was “moved or instructed” on what to do next. With one hand on the ground and my head down and eyes closed, my other hand rose toward the sky as the words spontaneously spilled from my lips voicing the request of the Water Seekers.

Then as I stood up, I further drew all that combined energy through me. I channeled it and cast it toward the atmosphere, I could feel the power of it all vibrating me. All that energy made my impassioned plea grow louder and the energy continued to rise. Suddenly the mountains began to add their voices, saying “We hear you, we can help, we are water seekers too.” I began to tremble at the energy I was channeling and casting.

When I felt something of a peak or break, I then put a hand back on the Earth. Taking a breath for my own body and with one hand in the air, I projected this connection and invited Mother Earth herself to join us in this healing, in that moment I felt her sorrow and I cried with her.

When the stillness came, I knew the Elements were now listening. So quietly and near spent still channeling as a conduit, I asked the Elements to give we, the water seekers, and the green and living, balanced, and average seasons as they saw fit in their infinite wisdom, so that they the all-powerful may heal our Mother and all the green and living water seekers. That was day one, as was by far the most intense of them. Each day after did not require such intense work as the connection had been made and was easier to tap.

Each day until May 1st I lifted my voice to the Elements repeating my request using the energy and the voices of the water seekers, the green and living. Each day I also asked the mountains to lend their assistance in drawing the weather needed.

I paused my work on May 1st to give room for the elements to work in their own way and show me what their infit wisdom was. May and June 2022 were the first “normal” spring we have had here in five years, possibly more. Our rivers and lakes are full and the water seekers and the green and living are flourishing, for now. Since mid-May when the rains began I have given daily gratitude to the Elements for their infinite wisdom and nourishing ways.

In the past, I typically would ask for rain. It is the most obvious thing we need I thought. Often though I would see a backlash of sorts, where rain would come then the heat would scorch after. Then it hit me, we need the balance of all the elements. When also thinking of climate change it made even more sense.

So now when I do weather working I include the water seekers, the mountains, and the green and living. I ask not just for rain, but for the Elements to work equally well together in their infinite wisdom to provide “normal/average” seasons to be provided to the Earth to assist in healing her. Then I let go and let them work and express my gratitude to them for listening.

 

 

 

BALANCE AND THE SOUL

BALANCE AND THE SOUL

“When the four elements are in balance within our atmosphere, we, the green and living are also in balance.”

Balance has been on my mind a lot of late as I look back on some of my interviews since my book came out and then look at my yard and property. It seems I have been swept up in my “Book Tour” which has mostly been online. I am so grateful for the response my book is getting. What really makes my heart sing is when someone says my book reached them and helped them in some way or that they like how it is “Plain Speaking” as tho I am speaking directly to them. That kind of feedback really touches my heart and fills it during the moment. Yet there is a longing in my spirit and soul. I have a longing to reconnect to the more earthly and grounded side of me.

I long for more time for my community in person, and more time for friends and family. As I speak to that part of me, I realize, I need to make the earthly parts of me the priority and the public writer part of me secondary.

It is so easy to get caught up in the forward motion of it all, the recognition, praise, and attention. The encouragement from followers to create more content, cause well, that is how it works and what everyone does right? It is, but that does not mean that is the way it should be for everyone.

If there is one thing I teach it is knowing and honoring the true self. I teach how to find and be your true self. I teach how to be courageous enough to be your true self in the busy and pressured world. It is time for me to practice what I preach.

This means a change to my routines. Rather than going right to the computer each morning, I am now going to walk my property and commune with my plants. From here, before I make any other business commitments, I will now consult with my true self and ask them where their spirit is for the day and what would bring them the most solace and enjoyment. ( I say we and them because there is more than one part of me and because of my psychism and witchcraft I am never alone.)

To make changes and practice self-care, balance and inner peace does not have to be a huge and difficult thing. It can even be small changes that begin the process of nurturing your soul. What changes will you make to ease that inner part of your soul?”

My interview with Elhoim Leafar

I thought I would share my only live video interview to date. This interview occurred before I even received my first copy of my book. Elhoim is amazing and it was such a pleasure to visit with him. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

A Family Trained Hedge Witch-The Elements

A Hedge Witch and the Elements

I think many have the idea that a hedge witch is someone who lives and breathes herbs, or is simply a kitchen witch. In my family tradition, a hedge witch is someone who lives and works with the elements and psychism daily. My family tradition defines witchcraft as being able to work with all the forces of nature, those in the real world and those not in the real world.

For those that follow my blog, you will remember my entry titled Weather magic with clairvoyance in time and space. In that entry, I described how I built my relationship with the Element of Air. In this entry, I will further elaborate on that experience by stating I believe the direction and the element are separate things. The direction of East is the realm where the Element of Air lives. This precept is fundamental to how I work with the elements.

First of the elements as we walk the circle is Air.

So, what is Air? Breathing, or weather? Certainly, those are its most basic functions, however, the air has components. These components are part of air yet much more than just basic air. The components of Air are; the wind, a storm, lightning, weather, and the atmosphere, and each has a different function, action, reaction, and spirit. Each has a different feel, different energy, different smell. Each reacts differently when you speak to them or ask something of them, and some may even make requests of you in return.

Other aspects and components of Air are flight, levitation, psychism, invisibility, thought and sound, intellect, energy, intent, dreams, and my favorite, the astral planes.

The element of Air is the breath of life. When we are born the first thing, we do is gasp for breath, without it, there is no life. As without so within, meaning if the planet is not able to breathe it will not survive either.

East, the realm air lives in and is guarded by, is the place of dawn, it births a new day for us each time the sun rises, this makes it the realm of light. For me, its ritual tool is the wand. We wave it in the air and direct energy and use it to send energy and intent. Wands are typically wood, meaning trees that create oxygen and live in the sky. So this makes sense to me.

Next, as we move around the circle is Fire.

The Element of fire lives in The Direction of the South, it is the place of heat volcanos, deserts, and the sun. The Direction of South is the holder and guardian of the flame and the flame is the spark of life.

Many of us think of actual fire when we address the South and the Element of fire. Many forget the greatest fire our planet experiences, the sun. The sun is the fire that keeps this planet going. Without the sun’s heat, we, the plants, and animals could not live.

At Imbolc, the sun heats the earth just enough that the plants hidden in the earth quicken just a little. The energy of the quickening can be felt by those who are sensitive to it. The energy of the quickening is an energy of expectation, pregnancy, and re-birth. This energy is put forth by all living things, and we feel it as the hope of spring and the spark of life.

Each flame or fire transforms the things it burns to nutrient-rich soil through the ash it creates. The sun then turns into new growth. As the sun rises each day after a fire, we again see the dawn of a new day and feel its promise. This makes Flame and the sun, the actuators of rebirth. When you think of it the act of rebirth is both destruction and creation. Flame is transformative, for no one, no thing, is the same after being touched by flame. It is cleansing and purifying and like our sun it is both creator and destroyer, giver, and taker.

We humans would not be here today without either. We usually think only of what flame takes from our lands and not what it gives back. There are components of flame too, dryness, heat, intensity, stillness and sudden and fierce movement, blasts of energy and heat. All things that occur before a fire or during very hot sunny days.

In my practice, the athame is the tool for fire. The Athame is created by fire, a sword or knife are often used in an act of passion, destruction, or creation, and all are attributes of flame and the realm of the South.

Our hearts are the fire within us. Our hearts drive our passion, our desires. It drives our will to live, and each has a different spirit and energy that can be felt, noticed, watched, and interacted with. We consider something is alive when we can hear its heartbeat. Like the sun our heart warms us. It is the engine of our bodies, as the sun is the engine to our planet. Our hearts drive our energy, it gets our blood pumping like the sun does for the planet in the quickening, making fire the spark of life. Again, as without so within.

Following around the circle we are now in the West, which is water.

What do most of us think when we think of water? Drinking it, a river, the ocean, emotions?

Ever consider how we carry water with us every day? And I do not mean in a plastic bottle. Our very bodies are 2/3rds water and so is our planet, again as without so within. Water in my tradition is the great nourisher of our bodies, our planet, and our very souls.

Ever notice how sitting next to running water soothes most people? That is water soothing our souls. We are carried in water for 9 months in the womb and our planet cannot flourish without water. In short, we cannot live or come into the world without water.

Water is the birth of all living things. Our bodies die without water, this makes it the nourisher of our bodies. Water is also for cleansing and not just in the spiritual sense. We use it to clean all the time without a thought.

Water purifies and dilutes, which is what it does as we sit next to it and feel soothed. It dilutes our stress, purifies our thoughts calms our passions. Water represents the waves of our emotions, our tears, our moods, and holds our soul.

Water gives us rain, nourishing the planet. It provides fog and humidity which in its way also provides water to nourish the planet in which we live. Fog, humidity, rain, and ice are all parts of water. All with a different job to do and each has a different energy and spirit, different actions, and reactions within our atmosphere. Each of them can be worked with if one pays attention and builds a relationship with them.

The realm of the West is the place of thresholds, liminal space. Liminal space is the between spaces and places. The West and Water both, are the dark realms, not just because of the depts of the oceans but because that is where the sun sets each day. In ritual, the tool for water is the challis, the bowl, and any vessel holding the water or drink to be used.

The last element in the circle is Earth.

Earth is the mother of our bodies she is the great provider of all. Earth is both life and death in the great cycle. Without Earth there is nothing. No plants, no food, no place to live, no air, no fire, no water, no us, for she holds it all. We are born here, it is the home of our bodies and she provides our very way of life in all aspects.

She is the great womb from whence all things are born. Including the other elements. There is no breathable air or atmosphere in space, no fire or flame except the sun, and no plants or animals. All those things may exist on another planet but not so much in space itself. As a hedge witch, I see the other elements as parts of the earth, individual, but parts just the same. The Earth provides the plants, which provides oxygen, Earth holds the water, also partially made of oxygen, Earth and her natural cycles, of heat and cooling help, provide rain, ice and all-weather. She provides what fire burns. Without her gases, there is no atmosphere it is her breath and ours, as without so within.

Like any mother, she provides all that we, her children need. She allows us to live on her, to flourish, or run rampant. She has her way of telling us she has had enough to by using her elements of storms, fires, floods, drought, or famine to speak to us if we listen.

Daily she gives us hints as to what the weather will be like. She tells us what needs to be watered, or tended to, her children the plants are signaled by her to show us their needs we can see when a plant begins to droop or turn brown. Animals are signaled by her to show us their needs for food, water, or shelter. The land talks too, is it dry? does it need to be fed? tilled or raked? All signaled by her if we watch, listen to feel, and speak to her.

The Great Mother also takes all our woes, our energy our garbage, and our bodies back into her and turns it back into something full of life for she is the great regenerator of all things, the place of life and death and everything in between. Earth represents stability, home, hearth, health, and prosperity in all aspects of life and for all living things.

The realm of the North is the realm of creation and destruction, home of the gnomes, home to all things ice, all things magnetic, home to fluctuating energies, and is the gateway to the cosmos. The tool I prefer to use in ritual for North is the staff. It stabilizes us as we walk on the earth, it is born on the earth and holds and directs earth energy.

In ritual as I begin calling the elemental quarters, I draw up the sacred connections I have with each one. I draw their awesome powers within me till they vibrate then I begin my vocal call to them loaded with those vibrations. I let those vibrations channel through any tool I may have in my hand as well.

Such are the relationships, I as a hedge witch, hold with the elements. Their realms and their tools are alive and a way of being. They help me live with the forces of nature each day. They make it possible to call them on a moment’s notice if there is a need. I remain aware and mindful that each element and each realm is symbiotic to the other. For one cannot exist without the other, just like in our bodies. We and the elements have symbiotic need of each other as is represented in the saying, As above, So below. As without, So within, So the universe, So the soul.

Personal contradictions and dualities

 

Personal contradictions and dualities

Every day social media asks the ultimate loaded question: “What is on your mind?” Well in the age of instantly knowing everything at once how can we not have too much on our minds? This highlights one of many dualities, how do we care about everything going on in the world and balance that with time for ourselves? I do not mean doing fun things with friends and family here. I mean us personally. In this fast-paced world taking time to feel, to grieve, to be happy, to cry, to enjoy a moment alone, time to let ourselves really feel everything we need to in order to properly think and process is not encouraged. That is until Covid.

During the lockdowns, the feelings we had stuffed from being so busy began to rise. Anger was at the forefront. Anger at the way the world was, anger at the way our jobs are or are not, housing, health, murder, civil rights and so much more. The onslaught of media has us angry at all of these things. Then we are angry at the politicians for not doing enough fast enough.

But here is the thing about that part. They can’t do enough fast enough no more than we can as an individual, and that is what angers us the most because it highlights how powerless and overwhelmed, we feel, so we project our feelings towards them and everyone.

There is an implied assumption fueled by the media that they should do more when we feel our world is such a mess. We forget they are people with emotions, health needs, and families that get overwhelmed or bogged down in rules and laws that we put in place. In our anger and sense of powerlessness, we forget that, so we blame, judge get angry, and lash out at everyone. Does that let them off the hook? No, but they need time we do not feel we can give them.

Rather than letting our anger and feelings run if we could acknowledge our sense of powerlessness and anger then begin to do something that we do have control over it would ease our anger and powerlessness. This would give us time to think, feel and simply be for a moment. Doing things like gardening, laundry, meditating, taking time to cry, grieve, laugh, do a hobby, getting the mail, changing the house around, go outside for five minutes, or most anything that is for us personally gives us solace, a sense of control and a sense of being right in our corner of the world.

When we participate in the fervor of the blame game on media, we forget we are responsible for giving ourselves solace and control. This is not the job of anyone outside of us, not politicians not loved ones, just ourselves. However, because we are human it is much easier to lash out at others or let ourselves be baited by others.

This happens simply because we are human, does that let us off the hook? No. No more than it does the politician. We are accountable for ourselves, our anger, our being judgmental, and for giving to ourselves, all of it. Is this easy? No! Are we bad people because we fall into these traps? Only if we do not pull ourselves out of them and take joy in it or let it become the person we are.

I think under all the anger and feeling of powerlessness, most people’s hearts and souls are quite different. I think more people than not say to themselves “It should not be this way” or “That is not how I really feel” or have remorse for something they said or did in a heated moment. When we feel this way it is the time for accountability.

That feeling is our que we have done something against our inner nature. To be accountable we can apologize or own our stuff in some fashion. That redemption is what keeps us liking ourselves and quells our anger. If we do not do this, we end up hating life, everything in it, and ourselves too. This leads to feeling even more powerless and it becomes a cycle.

I know we are not encouraged to admit we were wrong or did a bad thing. It is perceived as weak and we are taught it only opens us up to attack shame or rejection. Society has us fearing a societal consequence while ignoring the personal consequence which is much more destructive to our lives. We end up feeling miserable and hopeless. Then we act miserable because our emotions come out in our actions and words.

It took me a while to figure this all out and I am by no means perfect at it. But each day, in moderation, I do what I can to tell myself that taking care of myself, doing things for myself, is more important than anything or anyone. We have all seen what can happen when the individual goes too far with self-importance. I am talking about doing this in a healthy way, in moderation, with accountability, responsibility, and humility.

Humility is another taboo in our society. It too is a contradiction and duality the human being has. I once said confidence is symbiotic with arrogance and is difficult to temper with humility. But we as humans must temper it or we have all the things that have been discussed previously. We end up with what we see on social media. An attitude of “screw other people they do nothing for me.” We see disregard and dissolution with anyone perceived as an authority or someone offering their own view. Most on social media are people angrily yelling I matter more. This is because they have not turned their attention to themselves. Listened to themselves, loved themselves and they still think it is the job of others to make them feel valid.

It is not the job of others to make you feel as though you matter or that you are valid and heard, because they will always fall short of your expectations, only you can meet your own expectations fully. You will feel discounted and invalid until you validate yourself in a way only you can.

As I write that I am well aware many will take issue with my words and misunderstand them, all for the reasons stated above. When I say it is not the job of others to make sure you matter, I am not talking about civil rights, gender, or anything like that, I speak only of the inner self.

The human being is a complicated critter, and because of social conditioning and social media, our inner conflicts and dualities have only gotten more complicated. I have even had to address my own misogyny and behaviors that were conditioned into me as I grew up. I did so because I realized it was in direct conflict with my beliefs about gender, relationships, and love, and I have many more I need to deal with, we all do. It is lifetime work however, it is my self-acceptance and humility that allows me to say so openly without fear of what others will say because the kind of person I am matters the most to me, not them.

So, what keeps us in duality and contradictions that no longer serve us? Fear. Mostly what others think and social consequences. But the biggest one is the fear of change and the unknown. But here is the most obvious and unstated and unrecognized thing about that, rather we change or not we still have consequences. So the way I see it I would rather have consequences that are mine to deal with, consequences that come from me not others. This allows me to stop worrying about what others think or what they will do. It is an interesting duality to be sure.

In nature there is duality in all things, a light side a dark side, an upside a downside, a green side, and a dark green side. However, with nature, we embrace and accept that, we seldom accept that about ourselves or say it is ok because in our society it is a taboo to admit that about ourselves. If we admit our duality and contradictions, we are seen as broken or in need of mental health. I feel it is just who I am and it is my job to manage that the best I can. It is not the job of my friends, loved ones, social media, or the media to monitor those contradictions and dualities or even to give me advice about it.

The job of others is to see you as clearly as you see yourself and love you anyway. It is their job to trust that you are handling it because they will really know you when you are that transparent. If they do not, take care of you and move on in some fashion. Yet in human contradiction and duality, it is the human passion to point out someone else’s faults to them as though they are five years old.

It is true sometimes people do not see their duality and contradictions. If so and you are close to them then this is the time it is appropriate to offer insight. But you will not know if they are aware until you take a risk and ask first before assuming and telling them what you think they should do.

Another contradiction and duality is how far people will go to avoid what they perceive as conflict or to take the risk of being honest and speak up or ask a question. Again, fear puts us in this place. I do not fear this because I am the one dealing with me and any fallout is my responsibility, not theirs. It is the most liberating place I have ever been even when it makes those, I love uncomfortable.

People have tried for many years to keep me within their idea of safe and protected to no avail. They attempt this because it is comfortable for them to see others do as they would do. It validates their position, feelings, and perceptions. It also allows them to not face things that are different than what they would do or what they see as reasonable. The way my family raised me was the greatest contradiction of all. They raised me to be an honest free thinker and doer, that is until I was that way toward them because it made them face their own choices, words, and actions. This is the meaning behind the statement “others are a mirror of your own issues.”

In summary, we all have duality and contradictions because we are human and we are built that way, so we may as well accept that about ourselves and of others and make it work for us instead of feeling broken and quit fussing so much about how others do things on a personal level. Which is yet another contradiction and duality in the human being, we all want autonomy, many demand it, yet they spend so much time interfering with the autonomy of others. I find human beings to be complex, exhausting, and amusing creatures.